The Valley of Despair, seems so ominous, doesn’t it?
Well it is, actually. But it’s a step, and it leads up, or it leads down permanently, depending on how you approach things.
It’s a term I have found usually used in project management and change management, also called the Emotional Cycle of Change, a model developed by psychologists Don Kelly and Darrell Connor, the curve has been modified a bit by many, including myself. If you Google the cycle you will come up with a variety of graphs, my personal favorite is from evocon, which I think sums it up perfectly (scroll down about half way down the page). Somewhat similar to Kübler Ross’ Change Curve, which talks about the five stages of grief, where the curve starts high, drops into a valley and then rebounds. I find the cycle particulary applicable to people trying to start a new business.
If you Google “Valley of Despair”, you will also come across the Dunning-Kruger Effect, which explores the cognitive bias people have on assessing their own ability. This is no relation other than using the same terminology.
Before I touch on the five stages of the cycle, I have found that there are three types of people who want to start businesses, and while it’s a little bit of a generalization, I find it’s pretty accurate.
1. The ones who have a dream (to start a business) and have motivation.
2. The ones who have a dream (to start a business) and have done their homework first.
3. The ones who would like to be their own bosses or whatever they feel is the reasoning behind thinking they want to own a business and have an idea, but no real motivation (other than the dream) and have not done any homework.
#1 & #2 are the people who usually start businesses and do well. #3 rarely makes it out of the Valley of Despair and almost always quits at the low point. But that can be changed with the right attitude, and researching and reassessing.
The five stages of the cycle:
The first stage is Uninformed Optimism: otherwise known as hope and excitement “I’m going to be my own boss!!”
The second stage is Informed Pessimism: otherwise known as reality starts to kick in. “Oh My Heavens, there is so much to do! So much to learn! Arrgggghhhh!!!!”
The third stage is The Valley of Despair: otherwise known as “abandon all hope who enters the cave of doom”, cue evil laugh from the shoulder devil who doesn’t want you to succeed and whispers in your year, “You can’t do it.” This is where a lot of entrepreneurs give up. It’s too hard, it’s taking too long, it costs too much.
The fourth stage is Informed Optimism: where people who have clawed their way out of the pit put into practice all the things they learned they had to do to start their business.
The fifth stage is Success: where people start their business, open their bakeries, auto repair shops, or coaching businesses, whatever their dreams and aspirations are.
I’ve found working with startup businesses that these are some of the best ways to get out of the Valley of Despair.
Reach out for help. There are so many free resources out there for startup businesses. SCORE, for one. My suggestion (as a SCORE mentor) is when you are requesting help, tell the Chapter (there are Chapters all over the United States) a bit about what you are looking for and what kind of help you need. It helps the Chapter better match you with someone who can assist you. If you are matched with a mentor who you don’t click with or does not have the skill set you need, you can ask them to pull in a co-mentor or co-mentors with those skill sets and expertise. Or you can request someone else. This is a person you will be sharing personal and business information with, and there is a big trust and relationship aspect to it, so it needs to be the right fit.
I would be remiss in not mentioning a few of the other resources out there. There are also state-level programs, so use Google. It’s your best friend when it comes to starting a company.
Small Business Administration (SBA)
SBA’s Ascent: Explore Ascent (for women entrepreneurs)
SBA’s Boots to Business (Active Duty Service members (including National Guard and Reserve), Veterans of all eras, and spouses are eligible to participate.)
Small Business Development Centers (SBDC)
IRS Small Business and Self-Employed Tax Center
I would check out SCORE’s list of startup resources as well which has a laundry list of sites to check out.
Don’t forget to check out your local Chambers of Commerce and other local services. Many states and regions have specific programs for startups as well.
Take a step back and reassess. Is this the right business? Is this the right direction? Is this the right time? Is this the right market? If you haven’t done your research yet, do it NOW before going any further and causing yourself more angst. And in many cases, before spending any more money.
Some additional questions to ask yourself:
Is this financially viable at this time?
If you have a family or signifigant others in your life, are they on board with this? If not, why not? And if they are not, is this going to cause issues down the road?
What are your setbacks? Are these really unsurmountable setbacks? Or are you getting frustrated because you are not getting past those? If the frustration level is high, put that setback(s) aside for a while and focus on something else. Revisit when your mind is clearer and calmer.
I’ve also found that helping others at their low point can help you get out of your own. The value of networking with other small businesses and startup business owners allows you to have a sounding board for yourself, and looking at other’s setbacks and issues from an exterior perspective often gives you insight into how to tackle your own.
Just quitting without at least trying to do these steps and reaching out for help leaves internal resentment and regret that you had a dream but didn’t make it happen. Doing the steps above helps give you some closure and enables you to realize that you can start a new dream or revisit this one at another time, or that you can go forward and succeed.
If you have a dream of becoming an entrepreneur, go for it! The best advice I can give you, though, is to do your homework first!
